It’s time for the fish slapping dance! Okay, no it definitely isn’t. I could talk some more about Konami, but I feel like changing gears. I’ve been playing a LOT of Castlevania lately ( I just got my hands on the two for the DS, which are both tremendous so far), so I’m getting kinda worn out on the Konami subject. Also, there have lately been some freeware releases worth mentioning. That’s right, it’s time to dive back into indy waters. Well, actually I’ve been swimming in them waters for years now (quite literally since the early eighties), but I gotta poke my head up every once in awhile to remind you guys to take a dip.

An Untitled Story

Actually, I played this game when it first came out. Now that it’s free to download, I can finally offer it to all you guys. I know it doesn’t look like much at first; the music is strange and unlikeable, the graphics are Seiklusy with thicker lines, and it doesn’t seem to go anywhere… at first. For those of you willing to get past the initial presentation, you’ll realize that the music gets awesome, the graphics definitely fit, and the level design is absolutely fantastic. This is a tough little platformer (although if you can finish Wanna Be The Guy, this game won’t even slow you down). One thing about the game is that it has tremendous depth with innovative bosses and a great story idea. The power-ups are simple, but the designer does an awful lot with what little he gives you. This is the kinda game where you hope the creator goes on to do better and better things.

Star Girl

Bernie returns to give us another game! This time we get A Game With A Kitty to tell us a story. The first thing you’ll think when you play this game is, “wow this game really reminds me of Mario 2″. It’s true, take a pinch of Doki Doki Panic and shake with some of Bernie’s flair/humour and you get his latest game. Although I didn’t like his previous game all that much, this one is easily his best effort to date. It’s a great platformer worth checking out, so get to it!

Colors! DS

This is a pretty nifty program. I actually had a customer who wanted a super card for his DS, just so he could mod it to handle this software. It’s a really cool program that’s currently being developed (it’s so unfinished there isn’t even an undo function yet); it mimics a tablet PC in the way the stylus is used. If you’re an artist with a DS, you have to check this thing out because it is damn cool. Be warned though; homebrewing your DS will void it’s warranty. And if you screw it up, there’s not really any way to recover most of the time. It’s dangerous stuff, but that shouldn’t stop the mod artists out there!

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Well, I gotta go. I’m moving back into my own place now that my parents are coming back from Europe. So I gotta go do a bunch of stuff before I pick ‘em up from the airport. In this weather too, ugh.

Let’s get back to Konami. Again! 

They made a lot of sleeper hits for the Super Nintendo, so that’s what we’ll be doing this week. Let’s take a look at the early Nineties! Cobain was still alive and well, Royal Canadian Air Farce was actually funny, and the world thought Jaleel White was awesome.

During this time, Konami put out some great hits. Axelay, Contra, Gradius 3, Super Castlevania, Bloodlines, the list goes on and on. Today I want to talk about just one particular franchise.

Ganbare Goemon / Mystical Ninja

I personally love this series. Unfortunately, it never gained ground on our shores. It’s waaay too Japanese for the masses and Konami rarely acknowledges our otaku-riddled continent.

Goemon fought people with a pipe. Sometimes he played like Ryu, sometimes he played like Billy Lee, sometimes he played like Erdrick. Whether it was a platformer, a fighter, or an RPG, Goemon never failed to captivate Japanese hearts with crazy characters and even crazier plots. Too bad we didn’t see much of it.

“What are you talking about Mike? I played Legend of the Mystical Ninja on my N64!”

Yeah, you’re right. A couple of them were actually translated and brought over. The only real successful one was that first N64 game. A musical duo called Peach Mountain comes from outer space to take over the world? There is nothing you could add or take out of the previous sentence to make it more awesome.

For those that just don’t know what I’m talking about, allow me to elaborate. The gameplay is great, the characters are hilarious, and the plots are… “original” at least. So why did Konami abandon it? Why do Goemon and Jajamaru get mentioned in the same breath of obscurity?

In total there are ~25 games in the franchise. That’s quite a bit! Let’s take a look at some of the better ones.

The NES Days – Goemon 2

I know I said we were done with NES, but we do need to make this short stop. Mr. Goemon was the original arcade game. It was a simple ‘run right and kill things in your way’. It wasn’t until it came to the home consoles that it gained speed. Karakuri Douchuu was soon released featuring Zelda/River City gameplay; too bad the levels sucked. Even though the arcade game was a simple affair and the home version was kinda bland, Konami refused to give up on Goemon and kept going. Soon Goemon 2 made the rounds in Japan. This was a far more polished effort and that’s what I provided to you for play.

If you remember Mystical Ninja from the SNES, you’ll feel at home.

After this, they decided to mix it up by giving Goemon a decidedly Dragon Quest spin; they released two more games (under Goemon Gaiden) before getting their SNES on. Let’s just jump right into that good stuff!

The SNES Days – Ganbare SNES Collection

Finally we see a US release for their first SNES Goemon game. Then they made four more right under our noses. I’ve excluded the puzzle game for obvious reasons. The rest, however, are all in the download.

That’s right, three shiny games for you to play. The series finally introduces Sasuke (Mr. Casual Murder as we call him) and gives us Yae, the cute samurai girl. These games feature some great old-school platforming with RPG elements and bright graphics.

The wackiness has been lovingly translated by some fans, so you won’t miss out on the craziness of the plot. You might wanna rethink playing the final entry, unless you’re into masochism. All in all, Goemon really had some great games for the 16-bit era.

The Later Days

Legend of the Mystical Ninja (Now available on WiiWare)
Goemon’s Great Adventure

Konami gave the US a taste of 3D Goemon by translating the N64 titles above. That last one came pretty late in the N64 lifetime and, sadly, you probably missed it.

The franchise was a firestorm over in Japan. Konami made several PS1 games, one of them in 3D (Kuru Nara Koi!) They also took the time to re-release their older games on the handheld consoles and make some genre switch-ups featuring Ebisumaru.

It’s clear that Goemon was popular all the way up to 2000. And it wasn’t just Japan. Goemon finally started catching on with US hardcore gamers (occasionally resulting in hilarity).

But then another generation of console came. Something happened which killed the franchise to a slow trickle, and your guess is as good as mine. The last game was silently released on the DS a few years ago. Have we seen the last of new adventures? It’s been nearly a decade and it looks like Goemon will continue to fade away. There’s a chance this franchise is gone for good.

If you’re interested in more, there is an excellent article over at HG101.

Did you guys have fun with the penguin game? I know I always enjoy a good Pentarou. It’s a great game to play if you’re thinking of dieting and have too much self-esteem.

Anyway back to Konami. Are you guys starting to get the picture here? Konami used to make a lot of different games, across all genres. They had a lot of clever original ideas. With the rise of Rebirth, I hope that means they’re open to new experimentation…

Screw the present! Let’s get back to the past. The following games are considered ‘classics’ by their own crowds, and rightly so.

I’m Kid Dracula!

Picture Castlevania with cute graphics, kiddy enemies, bouncy happy tunes based off the Vampire Killer soundtrack, and a delightfully silly tone. Dracula must retake his castle! Think of it as a kindergartener’s guide to Aria of Sorrow. It has a lot of fun elements which evolved and made it’s way into the series later on. Highly recommended for any Castlevania fan with a sense of humour.

Esper Dream 2

The story is about a guy in a library who has to travel into fairytale books to..um…do stuff. The combat scenes are real-time, but the rest of the time it’s like any other RPG. I guess I’m saying that if Crystalis and Final Fantasy had a gay baby, this would be it.

I’m providing an english translation (done by the phenomenal AGTP) so you won’t get lost. RPG fans will enjoy this one a lot, despite repetitive combat. There’s something about it that keeps one coming back. It’s a shame that this game, like the others on this list, were never translated. I think this one could have been a small hit over here given the chance.

Getsufuu Maden

This game is very popular with the retro samurai fans. Those that love it consider it one of the greatest games ever made. Will you be one of them? I’ll admit that I’m not. I don’t mind the game, but I can’t say I’m fond of the presentation or gameplay. It’s got a lot to it (far more than you would expect from the initial play-through), but it has loose controls and it’s quite punishing.

Moai-Kun

Now this one is right up my alley! What is it with me and action puzzle games anyway? This one gives you a good head-scratching and features the Moai head from Gradius. Use your gigantic cranium to push blocks around to finish each level. It’s got a great light-hearted aesthetic and I’m a bit disappointed I had to grow up without this title on my shelf!

So now we’re done running through the obscure good games for the MSX. Let’s go into the future of… the late 80s! Nintendo was “Playing with Power!”, hair was bigger than beehives, and television had more morals than God.

Konami was one of the great kings of the era. In full swing, they started numerous classic franchises like Contra, Gradius, Castlevania, Metal Gear, Skate or Die, and TMNT. They also published great one-shots like Bucky O’Hare, Nightshade, Blades of Steel, Salamander, and Goonies 2. They even went as far as publishing North American PC games for the consoles (King’s Quest 5 for the NES anyone?)

Anybody who owned a Nintendo remembers at least half of the games I just mentioned. That’s the thing: Konami barely touched the Sega Genesis or other systems at the time. They made so many Nintendo games, that a few were bound to get lost in the pile. Let’s dig them up, shall we?

Yume Penguin Monogatari

It’s a short platformer, but it sure is interesting to play. Instead of hitpoints, enemies try to stuff you with fatty foods. Your goal is to walk off the pounds and drink diet soda. Each time you become thinner, you get more powerful attacks and you become more agile.

If you aren’t a picture-perfect Biggest Loser, then your girlfriend dumps you for being fat and ugly. Great message, eh? It’s a sequel of sorts to Penguin Adventure and it’s nice to see Pentarou in another game. I wonder if Konami will ever give him another game of his own. Perhaps something along the lines of Wii Fit?

Bio Miracle Bokutte Upa

Some of you might know it erroneously as “Baby Mario”. I remember back when the pirated cart made rounds with local gamers. The cart was everywhere and our region seemed especially touched by piracy.

This little baby inflates enemies by bonking them with a rattle and then goes for a ride upon their balloonified corpses. Fun Nintendo Logic for the kids! It’s a good game; I can see why the pirates stole it from Japan to give to us.

Fun Fact: Did you know that Konami published a game based on the worst movie ever? Why they did it, we’ll never know for sure.

Today I would like to pay homage to Osamu Tezuka’s greatest idea ever: Hi no Tori.

For those of you in the dark, Tezuka is The Man. If you’re into anime, he’s the guy you have to thank. I’m not saying he created anime, but he’s the one that made it reputable. It was he who influenced the minds of an entire generation. And from there it quickly infiltrated our shores through the geeks.

Tezuka is clearly a legend, easily up there with Hayao Miyazaki. Of all the stories he ever told, his greatest life work (his own words) is Hi no Tori. Don’t feel bad if you’ve never heard of it. Only now, several decades later, is the manga being translated by Viz. The anime adaptations (even the latest one a few years ago) are shrouded in obscurity. But the Japanese loved it. When Tezuka died, they played the OAV series alongside the broadcast of his funeral.

Hi no Tori had an interesting premise. The idea of the series spans many centuries. Each ‘arc’ (usually a few episodes or chapters) has some main characters discovering the meaning of their life. It’s not particularly deep, but somehow the narrative is captivating. It’s hard to describe; even if you don’t like the idea, you owe it to yourself to watch/read it the whole way through.

But what the hell right? This blog isn’t about anime. When the OAV series came out, Konami acquired the video game license and that’s why we’re here. Upon first glance, the games don’t seem that great, but they’re both worth playing so give ‘em a shot. The weird thing is even though big-nose man wasn’t a main character, both games are built around him.

Both games feature accurate graphics and the music, though sawtoothified, is very faithful. The ending credits for the games are the same as the ending credits for the OAV. Crazy, huh?

Hi no Tori wasn’t the only Tezuka series developed into a video game. Although he made many (we’re talking DOZENS of) franchiseable concepts, Astro Boy and Blackjack are the only two with video games in their collection. What? I didn’t mention? Yeah, Tezuka made Astro Boy and Blackjack. Oh sure, NOW you know who he is!

You didn’t think I was done, did you? What about the rest of Konami’s MSX line-up?

Forget Comic Bakery for hopefully obvious reasons. I mean, any game with yankee doodle or boy-band appropriate music is not my thing. Athletic Land (aka basically Cabbage Patch Kids) is pretty bad. And I don’t know what to think of Usas. Yeah, I guess these are some ‘classics’ I just don’t care for.

But that doesn’t mean my journey is over for the MSX. Let’s get back into Konami’s irreverant classics!

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